I know how you feel, and your own personal resentment and cocnfusion about the situation. There's a hard road to be walked when dealing with such grief, and it takes a while.
Watching people make poor decisions about themselves . . . hard to bear. This is a tough thing to tell - thank you. And condolences for your loss. You and both of your families will be in my meditations.
Having raised four boys, I know exactly what you mean. In most cases, it all seems to work out well somehow, but there will always be exceptions. And even though they are now aged 30-22, I still fret endlessly about their choices.
My condolences for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, there's a lot of that in my family too. I'll just wish you well in dealing with it and for the outcomes you want for your own kids.
I can only echo and confirm what others have said very well. My wife and I have seven children between us, all in their 40's or even above now, and most with children of their own. If only to mitigate the universal parental guilt, it helps to have more than one child. The old "nature vs. nurture" thing shows us it's not all our fault. Despite nearly identical upbringing, we have seen radically varying life choices. Happily, most have led to delightful, close families. Others, inexplicable, puzzling, and frustrating, have led to downward slides.
You mention that your cousin was younger than you. That can be a bit hard to take. A friend died a few years ago, whom I had know since our mother's had pushed us as toddlers in "Teeter Tots" down to the little beach nestled in the St. Francis Yacht Harbor in San Francisco on sunny days. His leaving not only left a bit of a vacant place in my life, but also significantly eroded my sense of immortality.
Sadie, by the way, is a lovely thing. She does a nice job of splatting letters onto paper, and I like the burgundy and gray color combo. Definitely a 1940's look. I'm wondering if you re-painted her.
5 comments:
Firstly, my condolences.
I know how you feel, and your own personal resentment and cocnfusion about the situation. There's a hard road to be walked when dealing with such grief, and it takes a while.
Watching people make poor decisions about themselves . . . hard to bear. This is a tough thing to tell - thank you. And condolences for your loss. You and both of your families will be in my meditations.
Having raised four boys, I know exactly what you mean. In most cases, it all seems to work out well somehow, but there will always be exceptions. And even though they are now aged 30-22, I still fret endlessly about their choices.
My condolences for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, there's a lot of that in my family too. I'll just wish you well in dealing with it and for the outcomes you want for your own kids.
I can only echo and confirm what others have said very well. My wife and I have seven children between us, all in their 40's or even above now, and most with children of their own. If only to mitigate the universal parental guilt, it helps to have more than one child. The old "nature vs. nurture" thing shows us it's not all our fault. Despite nearly identical upbringing, we have seen radically varying life choices. Happily, most have led to delightful, close families. Others, inexplicable, puzzling, and frustrating, have led to downward slides.
You mention that your cousin was younger than you. That can be a bit hard to take. A friend died a few years ago, whom I had know since our mother's had pushed us as toddlers in "Teeter Tots" down to the little beach nestled in the St. Francis Yacht Harbor in San Francisco on sunny days. His leaving not only left a bit of a vacant place in my life, but also significantly eroded my sense of immortality.
Sadie, by the way, is a lovely thing. She does a nice job of splatting letters onto paper, and I like the burgundy and gray color combo. Definitely a 1940's look. I'm wondering if you re-painted her.
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